Bubblicious Bandits
“Where’d ya get the candy?” This burning question was directed at my older two daughters when I spied their mouths bulging with pink bubble gum. We had been trying to locate a particular medication for my wife who was recovering from surgery, and had drawn a blank at the first two drugstores, Walgreens, and K-Mart. We finally found what we were looking for at Hooks’ Drugs. As the girls were climbing in my old power blue 75 Dodge Club-cab pick-up I also noticed some peculiar bumps in the younger one, Rebecca’s tights. When I questioned her about them, I got a blank look that was typical of her at the time. The girls were around four and five-years old and we had not yet discovered Rebecca’s severe hearing loss, so it is doubtful that she even knew what I said.
Melissa on the other hand, was fully aware of what was going on; it was she who had stuffed the sugary treats in Rebecca’s tights, thus converting her little sister into sort of a candy mule. My reaction, I’m ashamed to admit, was to give them both a sound paddling. This is not to say I disapprove of corporal punishment, to the contrary, I believed then, and still think it has its place. My regret stems from the fact that I acted in the heat of my anger, and this is never acceptable for a parent. A time-out would have been in order; for all three of us, me especially
After my childish display, the girls piled into the back of the truck. Club-cabs of that era had two jump seats which faced each other. For some reason, kids loved to ride back there. There was a problem though. Contrary to current practice, no booster seats, or shoulder harnesses were required, just lap belts. So when pulling away from a stop, many times the back seat passengers heads’ would snap back hitting the rear of the cab with a resounding thump. After a few knocks to the head, both girls became quite adept at predicting the movement of the truck and shifting to compensate. Still, this set-up was far from ideal, but in spite of this engineering shortcoming, they had a great time back there. A popular song around this time was Bruce Springsteen’s I’m Goin Down. Rebecca in particular, was always excited when it came on the radio, and loved jamming to the E-Street Band’s beat.
On this ride however, the radio stayed off, and silence was the order of the day. Soon we were home. After conferring with my wife, it was decided that we needed to return to the store where the girls would face the music. I made a call and spoke to the manager, who also happened to be the pharmacist. He assured me that this sort of thing happened frequently, and he as a father himself knew just how to handle it.
We informed the girls of the plan and of how they would have to pay for the stealing, which I explained was known as shoplifting. The ride to the store was just as quiet as the one from, but this time my wife accompanied us in the station wagon.
This drug store, like most others of the era, reserved an elevated area for the pharmacy. I would speculate that this was to give a birds-eye view of potentials crooks. I guess the girls were short enough to just slip under the radar. The pharmacist was a tall, just over six-feet, thin, slightly balding man of about forty. He possessed a kind face, one that seemed ill-equiped for striking terror in the hearts of wayward children. But at the same time he projected an air of seriousness. From his elevated platform, to a couple of kids just starting school, I’m sure he appeared as a giant.
The pharmacist/manager busied himself with a clipboard as we approached the counter; the clearing of my throat was not immediately acknowledged. The girls stared at the floor. That is until a booming voice from above asked may I help you. Startled, they both craned their necks to view the figure that towered above them. But neither one spoke a word. Then the pharmacist addressed them directly. “You must be the kids that stole some candy. Is that true?” Still no response. Again the voice thundered.” Do you think your dad should pay for the candy? At this the girls managed a weak nod in the affirmative. An instant rebuke however came: “Your dad didn’t steal the candy, you did, and he is not the one that should have to pay for it, you are. Do you have any money?” Another weak head shake, this time to the negative, was the response. “Well then,” was the quick reply “I guess you’ll just have to work it off.” He added, “Do you have any skills?” Again, a wag in unison, no. “Nothing huh, well I think I have just the job for you, I’ll be right back. Stay put,” were his final words as he left the platform.
When he returned some minutes later, he was carrying equipment more suited to the store next door, Tractor Supply: a full-sized shovel and push-broom; for all I know he went there and bought or borrowed the equipment. At any rate, the girls had their task: sweeping and shoveling the parking lot.
By this time a decent sized crowd of onlookers had gathered. Melissa and Rebecca just stared at the gardening tools. The pharmacist seeing their hesitation ordered them to each grab one and follow him outside. Curiously, the crowd moved towards the front of the store as well. As I looked them over, I saw what appeared to be the beginnings of smiles on a couple of women. When I cast a side glance at the pharmacist, he too appeared to be having a difficult time maintaining his aura of sternness. The girls though were dead serious.
I wish that I had a camera that day, as this was a Kodak moment if there ever was one. The girls, with their over-sized tools attacked the assigned task with a vengeance. Melissa in particular, in a very animated fashion seemed as though she were trying to grind the bristles right off the broom, and in the process produced the biggest cloud of dust possible. Rebecca was a bit more subdued, using the shovel to gingerly scoop up the copious piles of debris. After a suitable interval, probably about ten minutes, the pharmacist declared the job well done.
As I observed all of this, I was reminded of a similar story from my own youth. When I was about the same age as the girls, I went on my own crime spree, stealing a bit of lumber to build a fort. In that situation, it was also my dad who caught me and marched me back to the scene of the crime to own up to what I did. The man I stole from also took a similar tack as the Hooks manager did with my kids. He also praised my dad for taking the “high road” and forcing me to take resposibilty for my actions. He pointed out that this was a very hard thing for a father to do. Maybe that’s a reason why so much juvenile theft is swept under the rug; at least initially anyway.
After collecting the gardening utensils, with Melissa going in to theatrics about how she was exhausted from the hard labor, the man kneeled down and called them both near. He told them today you have learned a valuable lesson: hard work has its rewards. He further went on, you may think your dad has done something mean to you, but just the opposite is true. Parents who love their children take care of them, and that includes disciplining them when they do wrong, much as what happened here today. With that he handed them each a pack of gum, and told them they had earned it through their labor, the right way. Then without batting an eye, he handed me one of the packs I had confiscated from them earlier. I was a bit bewildered and pointed out I didn’t do any work for it. His reply was “look at the price tag.” Then it jumped out at me; the sticker said WALGREENS, they had struck twice. Man was this going to be a long day, requiring a trip to the other drug store to set things right there as well.
Both girls are now fine adults. On occasion, when we talk about growing up and parenting, our experiences as young criminals becomes the topic of conversation. When I ask what they recall most about their brush as shoplifters, specifically what they remember in the way of discipline; both resoundingly agree the sweeping of the parking lot had the greater long term affect. The paddling was more for my benefit. In any case, I believe parents need to be accountable for the kids’ actions, as well as the kids themselves. It would have been easy to just blow off their bad behavior. But what kind of a message would that had sent?
A wise man pointed out to my dad when he faced a similar situation that being a father is tough. Often times, parenting involves dealing with uncomfortable circumstances. After the bubble gum caper, I think I have a crystal clear understanding of the embarrassment, and even sense of failure my own dad experienced in dealing with my encounter as a “timber thief.” I’m glad that he chose to take the high road though, as it gave me a pattern to follow in dealing with my own children.